Kissing Myrtle
by sapphire-child
Summary: Myrtle, Hermione and Harry all kissing. Hang on...how did THAT happen?


Title: Kissing Myrtle  
  
Author: sapphire_child  
  
Author email: sapphire_child@hotmail.com  
  
Spoilers: Not quite sure but I'll put down all five books anyway  
  
Rating: PG 13  
  
Summary: Myrtle, Hermione and Harry all kissing…Hmmmm now how did that happen?  
  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
Author's Note: This is really weird, don't ask which part of my brain this came from okay!  
  
It all began with Myrtle.  
  
She just floated in front of us as we walked down the corridor.  
  
"Hullo Harry," she giggled at me as Ron and Hermione rolled their eyes at each other. Myrtle has had a crush on me since she first met me at Nearly Headless Nicks Deathday party, in my second year.  
  
"Uh, hi Myrtle," I said guardedly. "It's good to see you again. Er, how have you been?"  
  
"You never come and see me Harry," Myrtle's transparent eyes suddenly filled with tears. I blinked, not quite sure what to say, and after a few moments of expectant, anxious waiting, she burst into noisy tears.  
  
"You've been deliberately avoiding me!" Myrtle screeched.  
  
"I have not!" I exclaimed, horrified. "Ron, tell her that I haven't been avoiding her!"  
  
Ron grinned at me and my stomach plummeted. "Okay. Myrtle? Harry has not been avoiding you…"  
  
"See! There you go Myrtle!"  
  
"…He's been steering clear of you. There's a difference."  
  
So then Myrtle gave this cry and flew straight into Hermione who staggered back and fell through the door that led into Myrtle's bathroom. Ron and me pushed open the door to find Hermione sitting in a large puddle of toilet water looking shocked.  
  
"Hermione? Are you all right?" I hauled her to her feet. She didn't seem hurt but you never know.  
  
Hermione looked down at her dripping robes. "Damn that Myrtle." She muttered and cast a quick drying spell on her robes. Suddenly her eyes widened. "Myrtle?" she said, confused. "What are you…" her eyes bugged suddenly. "What do you mean you're…" she trailed off and then without another word, ran straight into the wall.  
  
She put her hands in front of her and barely managed having her face crushed into the stone and she pushed away, violently slamming into Ron. She then abruptly turned and ran through the door.  
  
"Myrtle!" Hermione screamed as she ran out the door. "STOP!"  
  
Ron and I ran after her.  
  
"Hermione?" I panted as we ran after her. "What the hell is going on?"  
  
"I think Myrtle's trying to possess me!" as if do demonstrate, she suddenly let out one of Myrtle's high pitched giggles and did a quick tap step before continuing.  
  
"Bloody hell," Ron gasped as we followed. "Bloody, bloody Myrtle. I always knew she was bad news."  
  
Myrtle/Hermione screamed with delight and scampered around the corner while Ron and me, swearing and sweating, raced after her.  
  
And she found the stairs.  
  
Being a ghost for so long, Myrtle obviously didn't remember how to use them, she jumped a few steps, nearly twisted Hermione's ankle, bumped into the banister and then finally managed to stumble down to the bottom with us hot on her heels.  
  
"Myrtle!" Ron gasped. "Wait! What are you doing?"  
  
Myrtle/Hermione looked back at us and grinned wickedly. "I'm leaving," she pouted suddenly. "You didn't think I was going to stay in the girls bathroom forever did you?"  
  
We gaped.  
  
"But why steal Hermione?" Ron asked. "Where's the logic in that?"  
  
It was just as well no one was watching, I thought suddenly. It would seem very strange to anyone passing by; you know, me and Ron referring to Hermione as Myrtle. Hell, I thought it was strange enough!  
  
Myrtle/Hermione's mouth turned downwards. "I can't leave Hogwarts unless I'm taken out of here by another body. Ghosts are bound to the place they die you know."  
  
"Uh, so basically you need Hermione to get out of here?" I guessed.  
  
Myrtle/Hermione nodded. "Yes. And I don't like the toilet, its dark and cold and lonely." She looked thoughtful. "It might be a shame really, to leave. I could stay and watch the prefects bathe forever but that's not very productive is it?" she giggled. "Some afterlife I've had."  
  
"Yeah an eternity of perving on people," Ron breathed. "Brilliant stuff. Hey you know something Herm-Myrtle? You seem a lot more cheerful all of a sudden."  
  
Myrtle/Hermione shrugged. "Hermione is happy. She's rubbing off." She began to cry suddenly and her face contorted so much that for a moment she looked exactly the way she had when she was a ghost. "But I'm still Moaning Myrtle," she sobbed. "I haven't changed! Not one little bit!"  
  
Ron shushed her. Myrtle/Hermione hiccupped and then pushed open the doors that led outside. And then paused. And turned to me. She grinned suddenly, a devilish glint in her eyes. The same glint that Fred and George got in their eyes when they were about to do something particularly mischievous.  
  
"Harry," she said slowly. "What if I refused to leave Hermione's body?"  
  
"You can't do that Myrtle!" I was absolutely horrified at the prospect.  
  
Ron's face mirrored my own.  
  
"I can," Myrtle/Hermione smirked. "It's all a question of morals. I shouldn't inhabit another humans body just to be human again but then again I have no morals anymore do I? I mean, what with being dead for fifty-whatever years? All morals gone."  
  
Ron started to say something. Then he started to say something else. He ended up not saying anything.  
  
"Is there any way we can change your mind?" I asked.  
  
Myrtle/Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment then a sly expression crossed her face.  
  
"Well…"  
  
"Anything. I'll do it." I said. She wasn't going to possess Hermione; I was going to make sure of that! God, as if I didn't have enough trouble with Voldemort now I had to deal with crazy ghosts!  
  
Myrtle/Hermione snickered and then leant forward so I leant forward expectantly as well.  
  
"Can I have, just one small thing?" she asked, her eyes like saucers.  
  
"What do you want Myrtle?"  
  
"A kiss."  
  
"A KISS? Are you CRAZY?"  
  
"Either you kiss me or I stay in Hermione forever."  
  
"I'll tell Dumbledore," I threatened but it sounded empty, even to me.  
  
"I don't care," Myrtle/Hermione sniffed. "If you kiss me I'll leave her. And only if YOU kiss me."  
  
Ron looked offended. "What's wrong with me?"  
  
"She'll be freaked out either way," Myrtle/Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron. "I want Harry to. And just because you like her doesn't mean anything to me."  
  
Ron's ears turned a dangerous shade of fuchsia. "Whatever gave you that impression Myrtle?"  
  
Myrtle ignored him.  
  
"Can I ask why?" I was slowly turning pink.  
  
Myrtle/Hermione smiled tenderly. "Because you're special. And you got that thing that killed me too."  
  
"I'm special too aren't I?" Ron whined.  
  
Myrtle/Hermione looked at him stonily. "I'm not even going to answer that."  
  
Flushing crimson right down to the roots of my hair, I leant forward and kissed her on the cheek.  
  
Myrtle narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms mutinously.  
  
"What?" I asked nervously. "I kissed you."  
  
"On. My. Lips."  
  
"You didn't specify that." I snapped.  
  
"Lips. Or I stay in Hermione's body until you do." Myrtle re-crossed her arms.  
  
"Uh…how about no?"  
  
"You want your friend back or not?"  
  
I felt his stomach twist. I didn't want to kiss Hermione; she's my friend for god's sake! But Myrtle had said that she would leave Hermione's body. I flushed again and leant closer to her.  
  
One quick peck and then Myrtle would have to go, I would have fulfilled his end of the bargain. I shut my eyes in instinct as our lips met. And that's when things started to get out of control.  
  
She slid her hands inside my shirt and I could feel her small, cold, delicate fingers against my skin as she kissed me. Hard. So hard I could scarcely breath. I was almost enjoying it but then pulled away abruptly. This was Moaning Myrtle inside Hermione. I didn't think of either of them in an even vaguely romantic way.  
  
"That's enough Myrtle," I gasped.  
  
Myrtle/Hermione looked up at me sadly and then something silvery gray escaped out of Hermione and through the open door. Hermione closed her eyes and then collapsed into my arms.  
  
"Hermione?" I propped her up. Her dark eyes met mine.  
  
"Harry." She said simply and leant against my chest. "THANK you. I thought you weren't going to do it for a moment there and I'd be stuck with that lunatic ghost in my head forever." She shook her head and then touched her lips gently. "Bollocks! Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"  
  
I turned beet red in my embarrassment. "Er, well I think it was mostly Myrtle. I didn't know she could kiss that good…" Oh great now I was babbling.  
  
Hermione grinned. "She's dead Harry, of course you didn't know."  
  
I flushed again and suddenly there was a stifled sound from beside us. Ron stood, forgotten, trying desperately trying not to laugh and not succeeding. He suddenly burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
"Oh your face Harry!" he managed to gasp out. "Oh that was just classic!"  
  
Hermione laughed. "You're just jealous cos he got to kiss me."  
  
"Hey I'm a savior, I do what I can." I spread my hands and the three of us laughed and made their way back to the common room.  
  
I touched my lips gently as we went.  
  
'Get a grip Harry,' I thought to myself. 'It was only Myrtle…'  
  
But I couldn't help thinking that maybe it wasn't just Myrtle kissing me at all. Maybe Hermione was still in there and contributing as well… 


End file.
